The New York April Fools' Committee Is Proud to Announce:
NEW YORK CITY'S 31st ANNUAL
APRIL FOOLS' DAY PARADE
"Mirror, Mirror on the Wall ..."
New York's irreverent April Fools' Day Parade returns, poking fun once again at the past year's displays of hype, hypocrisy, deceit, bigotry, and downright foolishness. Nothing is sacred. Our satire knows no bounds. The theme this year, "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall ..." celebrates one of our nation's greatest fixations -- ourselves.
New York, New York -- The 31st Annual April Fools' Day Parade will begin at Fifth Avenue and 59th Street at 12 noon, Friday, April 1, 2016. Rain or shine, the parade will march down Fifth Avenue to Washington Square Park for the climactic selection of the King of Fools from the costumed look-alikes. Marchers create outrageous floats and dress up in colorful costumes mirroring the folly of the previous year's nuttiest politicians, corporate leaders, celebrities and whoever else has made a total fool of themselves.
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Floats can be no wider than 10' and no longer than 30'. They can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages and aerial balloons are welcome. Parade floats and marchers must be at 59th Street and Fifth Ave. no later than 11:30 a.m. The Parade Committee assumes no liability for damages caused by satire.
The theme for this year's parade is "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall..." The Grand Marshall will be North Korean President Kim Jong-un dressed as the Pied Piper straddling his Ballistic Missile Float. He will be leading his faithful comrades, who will be goose-stepping and singing Ray Whitley and The Tams' 1963 hit "What Kind of Fool Do You Think I Am?" Color commentary will be provided by Kanye West, who will be live-tweeting the parade from his Infinity Mirror Float.
The first float will be the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Voters' Float with members singing a tune from West Side Story: "I'm so pretty. I'm so pretty. I'm so pretty, and witty and WHITE ...". Then comes the Hypocrisy of Democracy Float featuring this year's presidential candidates shouting their canned stump speeches. Followed by the California Gas Leak Float spewing methane into the air. Then comes a Trump Mexican Border Wall Float on which illegal immigrants continuously scale a wall and return through a hole at the bottom. Next comes the Royal Caribbean "Anthem of the Seas" Rough Ride Float with passengers puking after dining on Chipotle burritos. This will be followed by the Steve Harvey Float of Crowned Miss Universe Contestants playing musical chairs. Next up is the LAPD-sponsored OJ Simpson Trial of the Century Relic Float, which displays the knife found just this March on OJ's Brentwood property, nicely timed to promote the FX series The People v. O.J. Simpson. Motorized floats will be powered by purportedly environmentally friendly, fuel-efficient, diesel-powered Volkswagens. Bringing up the rear will be the Confederate Flag Float driven by former Grand Wizard of the KKK, David Duke, waving a Vote Trump sign, and a Horse-Drawn Wagon Train with Oregon Protestors from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge Stand-Off singing "This land is your land, this land is MY land ..."
Says parade organizer Joey Skaggs, "It's a mystery to me how we continue to enable fools to make fools of us."
As the parade enters Washington Square Park, the festivities will begin. A crop duster will have already fumigated the park against Zika virus-bearing mosquitos. Parade revelers will be screened (i.e., groped) by TSA agents and then will be offered their choice of lead-tainted water from Flint, Michigan, or orange-colored toxic waste water from the Colorado River. A food concession will offer free Mars candy bars containing so much plastic they don't need a wrapper. There will be an Insult Contest between 2nd-graders from the five boroughs and the Republican Presidential candidates. There will also be a Donald Trump look-alike contest, the winner of which will get a weekend at the Trump White House. The two women who actually signed up for the Ashley Madison extramarital dating website will be hosting the Ashley Madison Wants You Back Booth; government employees will get all dating fees waived. A Nashville Marriott Peek-a-boo Booth will let revelers join the 17 million voyeurs who have already seen a naked video of sportscaster Erin Andrews, which was videotaped through a hole drilled in her hotel room wall by a stalker. Sean Penn will guide a virtual El Chapo escape tunnel tour through the park. There will be a Kickstarter booth to raise funds to bribe FIFA to bring the World Cup to New York City.
The parade is sponsored by billionaire Sheldon Adelson. Last year's King of Fools, Bashar al-Assad, will crown this year's King of Fools, chosen based on the loudest cheers at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31, 2017.
The April Fools' Day Committee is proud to announce that committee chair Joey Skaggs is the subject of a new film ART OF THE PRANK, directed by Andrea Marini and produced by Marini and Judy Drosd, now screening at festivals around the world. Visit http://artoftheprank-themovie.com for more information.